His Dog

There is a reason why Briggs is Murph's dog, while Tucker is my dog. I'm guessing a lot of couples experience this, but there is just something about the big brown dog's personality that "clicks" with the Husband's. They are just similar in some ways. Take their sleep style for instance.

I come upstairs, arms loaded with folded laundry and entered my bedroom to find Briggs laying directly in front of my dresser. There was no way around him, so as I attempted to step over him, I tripped, stumble a bit and dropped all of the socks destined for my drawer on the dog. ooops.

His reaction:
What a sleeper. I dropped an armload of clean socks onto the dog and not only did he not wake up, he didn't even flinch. He didn't look up. He didn't even crack an eyelid. In fact, he was so sleepy that I put away the socks, went downstairs, got the camera, came back up to the bedroom, and then took this picture. He didn't wake up until I opened the curtain to get some better lighting.

This is pretty much how Murph sleeps. I could light myself on fire in bed and he would barely roll over. I envy this ability to fall asleep and not wake up until the alarm goes off.

Now the Tino and I are pretty much also kindred spirits, canine soul mates, a match made in heaven, ect. ect.

This picture explains it all:

(heaven is lined with fleece)

Exciting Suburban Animal Chases

Did I ever tell you about that time a fully saddled horse came trotting down our street without a rider? I swear I wrote about it before, but cannot for the life of me find the story.

It was a Saturday morning and Tuckertino had just escaped out the back door. The dog took off down the road, the husband took off after him, and I took off after the husband holding a bag of treats. Dog treats, that is, not husband treats. Hmmm...Husband treats? (Queue fantasy vignette of me running down the street balancing a platter of vegan cupcakes yelling "Murph! Cupcakes!").

So after a good bit a yelling, the husband cornered the dog in the neighbor's back yard and scooped him up. We walked home, reprimanded the Tino and then probably gave him a treat. The husband then loaded both dogs into the car for the weekly dump trip. A magical place where the Tino would get more treats from the likes of Crazy Dump Guy.

The boys left and I was in the kitchen when I heard the distinctive "clip-clop" of a horse getting louder and faster. As it was daylight, and I couldn't very well turn off all the lights and stare unabashedly out the window, I poked my head out the front door as all good (read nosey) neighbors do in the suburbs.

Fortunately, I timed this perfectly and watched as a riderless, horse came trotting down our side street and took a left onto Plant Ave. A few hundred meters behind the horse a boy riding a BMX bike was peddling after the horse, yelling something to the effect of "please stop him! please stop him!" Behind the boy was an old "grandma-style" sedan of the crown vic, old school Caddy variety following him ever so carefully.

Within a few minuets the boy came back up the street, walking the horse by it's lead. The car followed them slowly still with the BMX hanging out of the trunk. Apparently the BMX boy's girlfriend was getting ready to ride her horse, when it spooked and ran out of the barn and up the road. The boy took off after the horse, and upon seeing something WILD the car just started to follow them figuring they could be of assistance at some point.

I was just happy not to be the only people in the neighborhood having to chase down their animals.

ThreeThings

I do not want to contemplate roofing estimates. In fact, I do not want to do this task so much, that I am using the folder of roofing info (which I should actually read) as a laptop desk.

I have been wondering all summer if anyone has come up with a great device with which to carry easily bruised stone fruits with them to work. You know, without all the bruising, bashing and general horror of finding you afternoon snack, shoved in the bottom of a bag looking like the loser (or maybe the winner?) of a mixed martial arts fight. Bubble wrap perhaps?

I am really interested in knowing who keeps leaving chicken carcasses at the corner of Blaine and Carter Street. And while Tuckertino and Briggs have confessed their undying devotion to whomever keeps leaving chicken bones on the sidewalk, I feel differently, what with chicken bones not being a great supplement to their diet. Murph tried to tell me that he was the one leaving the bones in the road. He claims to buy a weekly bucket of KFC and hang out on this corner (of a residential neighborhood) and secretly eat chicken and throw the bones on the ground. And while I was suspcious of his story, what with the VEGANISM and all, I bought it until I saw how grossed out he was by the the act of prying 1/2 a chicken from Briggs mouth today. Whom ever is doing this, please stop. Please!

Like He Was Auditioning for America's Funniest Home Videos

The Tino has this fleece blanket that he drags around the house with him. He is one of those funny dogs that gets cold easily so I gave him a fleece to wrap up in. Being a terrier he also likes to "fluff up" his bed before laying down. And while he does sleep on it, he also likes to take it off his bed, run into the living room, fleece trailing behind him, and wrestle the crap out of it. He grabs it in his mouth, whips the blanket from side to side and then throws it down on the floor to wrestle the life out of it. Generally, Briggs wants nothing to do with this activity so the Tino can feel free to play with the blanket for several uninterrupted minuets at a time.

Tonight as I got up off the couch and turned to walk out of the living room I saw that the Tino had thrown the blanket over his own body, including his head, in some sort of fit of Tino-sized rage. Then, sensing that I was leaving the room, he ran full speed toward me, but missed and smacked directly into the door jam.

If only I had caught it on video* we would cercertainly have won the $10k.


























*photos recreated for dramatic effect

They Do This Professionally

The Ususal: Ninjatino v. Briggs - No Snuggles Here

they don't do this often

there is usually more teeth gnashing and humping, but occasionally they just give up and settle in for a nice long snuggle.

loose dogs and odd children

Exhibit A:
A tiny min-pin nearly got creamed by a UPS truck. The girl who lives in the house with the 800 outdoor cats ran over, scooped her up and then proceeded to freak out about the dog being loose outside without a collar. While I admire the notion, there may be a little pot/kettle thing going on there. I mean how many cats can you have roaming the neighborhood?

Exhibit B:
Saturday morning we noticed a family outside walking along this side street calling a dog's name. About 3/4 of a mile away we found the loose in-tact male sniffing around someone's yard on a busy street. After a few minutes of trying I was able to nab Jack and a borrowed leash to walk him back home. I sort of cringed when I handed him back over to the kids who were watching him, but they were happy and he was home.

Exhibit C:
There is a girl who every time she sees Tuckertino yells "raincoat doggy!" Why? Because when she first met Tucker it was the winter, it was raining, and he was wearing his rain coat. She always fails to mention that on that night she was standing in the middle of the road in the pitch dark and pouring rain. She had a cast on her arm and was wearing one of those black plastic derby hats you get on St. Patty's Day. It was a weird scene for a 10 year old to be in. I always want to yell back "weird hat girl!" but I don't because I have self control (sometimes).

Exhibit D:
Girl who after petting our dogs, asking their names, and being assured that they did BARK but did not BITE said as we were walking away, "I wish you had a pink dog". Hmmm, I'll get right on that, a brown dog, a black dog and a pink dog!

No fault to these kids or the dog or even the roaming cats it's just been a little weird around the neighborhood the last few days.

ninja dog seeks comfortable bed

i haven't written about the dogs in a while. since it is summer and the heat has been pretty stifling and the thunder rolls in a few times a week, the big boy hangs out in basement most of the time. he likes it there. it's dirty and cold and he smells like dust. i think he's into it. he loves his alone time, you know. this gives us more time with the little guy and lately he's been cracking me up.

we bought him a new bed a while back to replace the green one that the two of them shredded to bits over the last year. the new bed has a removable cushion. at some point in the last two weeks he figured out that he can now bring part of his new bed with him wherever he wants to in the house to have nap. he also like to bring the cushion over to briggs and taunt him with it. it's as if he's saying "haha fucker, beat this! you can't! your bed is way too big to drag all over the house". and then he shakes the bed vigorously in his mouth, throws it to the ground and collapses on it. (and yes, I suspect that the tuckertino uses foul language - if you've met him you will agree with me)

the other day the husband and i were sitting on the couch when we realized that tucker had brought the cushion into the livingroom and placed it on top of another bed (because you can't have too many dog beds) and was fast asleep, much like the princess and the pea.

so there you have it- we have one lone wolf and one princess with a mouth like a sailor.

tonight

the husband:hows your blogging?

me: i can't think of anything to blog about

the husband: blog about candy

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me: hey, what could bobby flay "throw down" on me?

the husband: i know what i could throw down on you.

me: be careful or i'll blog about this

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bobby flay's assistant: she's wearing a long sleeve shirt and a sequin vest.

me & the husband: giggles over sequin vest

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it's a slow night 'round these parts. tucker hasn't said a word all night. however earlier today he said: "yeah i pooped on your yoga mat...you'll need a new one". he totally owned it. i don't think he was sorry at all. i need to watch ace of cakes now.

if you've got issues, we've got tissues

today we started a new chapter here at the murphy residence. previously, our two beautiful dogs, you know them as briggs and tucker the ninja dog, had been running our lives. at some point it became abundantly clear that we were in fact being owned by our two furry friends. i started to notice it back when the briggs man became an expert pacifist and started nonviolent street protests earlier this fall. at first i thought it was the price of gas that was moving him toward such action but quickly realized it was just that he wanted to make my life miserable. and so like all powerless people who think they have the upper hand, i responded by completely losing my mind, and if you can imagine, this is how i became known on our block as "the crazy neighbor who appears to be beating her big brown dog". the title was accurate enough but i thought it lacked imagination.

fast forward to february and i have one big dog who likes to defy me outside and a smaller dog who likes to defy me inside. tucker the ninja dog's antics ranged from "innocently" eating half his weight in dog food to attacking his best buddy briggs every time he saw another dog and then of course there is his SAD disorder. you know, SAD - Squirrel Attachment Disorder. its a terrible disease wherein the afflicted party is constantly plagued by the feeling that they MUST under any and all circumstances bark, run, and dig their way to any squirrel or squirrel like thing (read any other rodent, small dog, cat, large leaf blowing in the wind or anything else that may move by its own fruition) that my catch their eye. i know some dogs are into rodent chasing but this was ridiculous. at one point tucker's SAD was so bad he thought he could climb trees (he can't) and there were those saturday mornings where he just spent hours staring out the windows stalking the squirrels from room to room all the while barking his god damn head off. these were the less relaxing weekends around here.

the husband and i were coming up empty again and again. tricks we had employed when briggs was an "only dog" didn't work. food lures didn't work. time outs didn't work. surprisingly, yelling didn't work. we spent more time yelling at the dogs and being annoyed with each other than we were enjoying the company of our best fur-buddies. so a good portion of the tax refund was spent today on hiring a dog trainer. one that came with a lifetime warranty. i was nervous about having the woman come to the house, fearing that perhaps she would chastise us for the SAD or the briggs' nonviolent protests. or maybe she would be crazy and ridiculous and talk a bunch of crazy talk about speaking "dog" the importance of reading your dog bedtimes stories or some other such nonsense. but no, she was normal. she wasn't a crazy dog lady, she was a professional who acted accordingly and gave us some tips and techniques for actually having a happy home and a well-ordered pack.

she was here for a 3 hour session and we have 1 more hour to go. it seems we have more issues than the regular pack. i admit that i still feel pretty shaky on these techniques. its a little bit of dog whisperer, a little bit common sense, and a lot of practice because it appears that it's mostly about timing. the husband seems to have picked it up better than me, but i will keep trying. tonight though, we are all exhausted from our busy day.

too much of a good thing....

for shame

i've been bad

i got into the new bag of food

it looks like a giant mouse got into it

it was no mouse....it was me

and now i'm sorry because i'm too fat to move

i'll be fine once i sleep it off

tonight we bake - tomorrow we frost

so i am told that valentine's day was created as an excuse for people to buy greeting cards, but now i'm pretty sure that the valentine's day has been taken over by the chocolate industry. is there any other holiday so devoted to chocolate? i mean halloween is devoted to candy in general, and for the most part crap candy that comes in bite-sized pieces. but valentine's day seems to be a THE day for chocolate lovers. so in honor of that feeling i am baking some cupcakes for a dessert pot-luck at work. here's how it went....

i prepared by practicing some poses for my myspace page. ok not really- but sort of. my aim was to show you my awesome apron made by my sister.















the dry ingredients were assembled.













i try to always make vegan baked goods as it lets me practice substituting things like banana for eggs.










combine wet and dry in a large bowl thus creating a chocolate masterpiece that you consider swiping and pretending that it was actually meant to be eaten as chocolate soup.










this is my assistant, tuckertino. he keeps the floors clean.
















almost final product. and these stand alone foil wrappers seems to do an excellent job.






did i mention that tomorrow involves frosting.....chocolate frosting.

10 things i like

1. today was the first snow we've had of the season and the husband shovels the driveway

2. the silly border collie that lives on our street was trying to herd the shovel his owner was using to clear the sidewalk when i drove by.

3. this post about ugly oatmeal - i too enjoy my own brand of ugly oatmeal that i eat at my desk every morning while reading the important and unimportant daily news.

4. the street are filled with the soft glow of christmas lights which makes my drive home and my walks with the pooches a little nicer.

5. my drive to work was uneventful, despite it being the first snow of the season.

6. school was delayed two hours which meant that the angry dad at the end of the road was not waiting at the bus stop blocking my view of oncoming traffic.

7. tucker the ninja dog steals briggs giant bed every day, and briggs is just fine sleeping on tucker's small bed even when it's under a table.

8. i started to refinish a chair i've had in the garage for over a year.

9. yesterday i baked banana muffins, which meant we didn't waste the brown bananas

10. that we finally bought a new battery charger for the camera

more fun for me than for him

this weekend the husband and i drove out to the mall in search of shirts. as i was scouting old navy for deals he was perusing the dog -wear. he found the perfect outfit for tucker the ninja dog and at $3.50 i had to agree that this karate suit was where its at. we rushed home to to put said suit on said dog and well...as the pictures illustrate it was way more fun for us than it was for him. i contend that he deserved it for waking us up at 5am over the weekend.






don't worry- i didn't make him wear the suit for long. he took it off to continue getting his regular dog-look on. he prefers basic black to the white anyway.

before & after

the dogs just getting ready to go. they are bright-eyed and alert. ready to get to our destination.


and after our weekend....not so bright-eyed, barely alert, ready to nap for hours......

new little man

He arrived safely. I was bummed that I didn't get to keep the doggy passport that was issued to him when he crossed state lines. Things are good because he too LOVES the car. He jumped right in without hesitation. Of course he is much smaller than the briggs man, and like a good little ninja, he tried to out smart me and sit on my lap while I was shifting. He will have to learn that is a no no and that I can only be out smarted during the hours of 3 and 6 am.

so glad you came to live with us buddy...

very bad blogging

this was a very big weekend here at the homestead. we found briggsington a playmate and we bought a new car....and I took pictures of nothing. man I am a bad blogger. I mean I have a blog about driving and I forgot to document the new car buying experience. seriously- I am a fool. my only saving grace is that we didn't actually bring anything home with us this weekend. I am still waitingto hear if we can bring the dog home, and we will pick up the new Forester on Tuesday. so with any luck I will be able to drive out to pick up the new doggy today and then we'll get the new car tomorrow and I'll take lots of pictures and blog a good blog about this exciting stuff for real tomorrow!