the importance of smelling the dude soap before you buy it

a few weeks ago the husband and i were at the target. we happen to walk by a display of dude soap (old spice body wash) for sale. since this is what the husband uses we stopped and randomly chose a bottle, threw it in the carriage and went on our way. i am one of those people who keeps the bathroom closet neat and much like a supply locker full of extra bathroom essentials. it may be slightly OCD like, but i never run out of toothpaste, toilet paper, body wash or conditioner.

so a week or two goes by and the husband pulled out the new dude soap and took a shower. i fully expected him to walk out smelling like a pine forest as usual but something was different. something was off. the usual and tolerable sent of "sport" which is fake pine and what can only be described as blue had been replaced by something called "fresh". i assure you that it was not "fresh". when i think "fresh" i think of ocean breezes, cut grass, cucumbers, and lettuce....this old spice version of "fresh" sort of smelled old, unnatural and faintly of baby- but not the good kind of new baby smell, more like desatin and unused diapers.

he used the soap all week, which wasn't causing too much of a stir since we don't really see one another in the morning. generally, by the time he gets home the smell of "fresh" is generally replaced by the sent of "lived another day", but then the weekend came. first, i was assaulted with the new soap saturday morning and was none too please. then i was assaulted again by the offending body wash saturday night when after attending a very sweaty have heart record release show the husband came home and showered before getting into bed. this is all well and good and quite considerate, except that when i woke up 8 hours later all i could smell was the "fresh" dude soap. ahhh. in my bed. first thing in the morning. maybe that's why i was in such a bad mood for the next 4 hours. in my mind i vowed to buy better smelling dude soap that day, and then promptly forgot all about it as the air filled with the sweet smell of espresso.

fast forward to 5:30pm when we were finally getting around to taking a shower on sunday. i realized that no new dude soap had been purchased. bummer. big time. because now i was in the steaming bathroom getting a nose full of "fresh" dude soap. yuk. i scoured the linen closet and there was nothing dude worthy in there. i contemplated telling the husband that pomegranate was the new pine but i didn't think he's fall for that.

instead, he washed with the "fresh" and at 6:05 we got in the car (after i broke my sidekick- crap!) and drove back to the target. i then proceeded to smell every flavor of old spice dude soap they carry. in addition to the old spice line i also smelled the "every man jack" -which was fine and had a neat wood grain plastic bottle but was too small. i also smelled the axe stuff which was white and also required that you buy that sponge that looks like a tire and that's just stupid. as an aside, i also found some kiss my face soap in the shape of a whale and some teen spirit body wash. i thought this might excite nene, but if that's what pop stars smell like i am glad the live in california.

oh, so here is the amazing part of the story. every freaking bottle of old spice dude soap smelled the same- like fake pine and blue- every bottle except "fresh".

the moral of this story: always remember that even when you think that all the dude soap is the same, don't buy without smelling it because they will try to trick you.