Back on Track...or Something

Wow! I was able to pass the Life & Health Insurance test last week. Thanks to all for the PMA and congratulations. I am most appreciative.

I was trying to figure out why I was so nervous about taking that exam. My conclusion, it has something to do with the experience I had taking my very first insurance exam….and a really ugly picture of me.

About 5 years ago I decided to take the P&C exam. Well, I realized that if I wanted to move up from the underworld of data entry, I needed to become a licensed insurance professional.

I signed up for the review class, got the giant book and I read it every night. When I say giant book, I mean 2 1/2 inch thick paper manual that is crammed full of every bit of knowledge one would need to know for said test. It even tells you right in the front cover, something like "This book contains everything you need to know for the test. There is minimal extemporaneous material". Which I would later learn means "know it all...or else".

Then I took the review class. This is a two-day adventure where an instructor reads the book to you and 50 of your closest friends and explains the innermost details of insurance rules and laws and details the difference between sexy words like peril, hazard, and indemnity. I then scheduled my exam and got to reading the test-taking rules. Fresh out of undergrad and still enrolled in graduate school I figured I had a leg up. I was used to studying and taking exams. I figured, it would be no problem to be sent into a dark room to sit at one of those crappy orange computer terminals and answer multiple choice questions for 3 hours.

I think you know where I'm going with this. The first time I took that P&C exam I failed. FAIL. See, the previous years of my education had been spent getting the "big picture", reading and interpreting literature, making inferences out of the news and using facts to create and write my own opinions on such topics as media bias, advertising in the post-war era, and this emerging media trend which would eventually become Web 2.0. My brain had been co-opted by a "Northeast liberal-arts education" and I was no match for a 4 part multiple choice test. I failed by something like 3 points in both Massachusetts Law sections. I was devastated.

The devastation stemmed from two distinct areas in my heart. Firstly, I loathe to do anything wrong, EVER. I believe they call that fear of failure or perfectionism or maybe just plain old Northeast snobbery. The second was the part of me that under no circumstances wanted to study, think about, or even look at that insurance manual ever again. In fact I had been told that the manual was ONLY for the test and was not suitable reference material for the office environment. I was looking forward to hoisting the book over the wall of the dumpster out back.

However, I had FAILED which meant more studying. I re-took the super fun review class, and started doing nightly practice tests. I would go on to memorize more useless knowledge than I ever had before. Approximately 3 weeks later I walked back into that creepy dark room lit by the glow of the orange computer terminals and kicked that exams ass. Well, I passed. After you got the big PASS you didn't get a point break down, just a piece of paper that said PASS! It’s good enough, but I’ll never know if I passed by 3 points or 30.

When I decided to take the Life Insurance exam about 6 weeks ago I started down the same path with a giant book to learn. It all felt eerily similar to me, despite passing a whole bunch of insurance exams since that first fateful FAIL. As the date of the exam approached I was increasingly nervous about the material. Increasingly worried about the prospect of failure.

In that last week I made time for little else besides studying. The husband was kind enough to walk the dogs and make himself dinner while I read about annuities and medicare. In my quest for uncertainty avoidance I had read all the test-taking rules. I had my photo ID, my calculator and nothing else with me when I walked into the testing office. The woman there said she was going to take my photo to verify that it was actually me, but never said "say cheese". She chatted with me for a minute and then sat me down at my assigned computer station in the test room. No more orange computer terminals. The proctor hit a few keys and said "Okay, you are all set". She walked away. I looked up at the screen and was met with this:

The clock was already counting down (1:59:32) and all I could think about was “why is ugly me watching me take this test”. I hoped it wasn’t an omen for ugly results. Fortunately, it wasn't, and I learned that I should probably smile more, even when I'm stressed out.

Now onto other things like our office move, Thanksgiving, and high school reunions.

Half the Battle is Showing Up

I spent the first few days of October working on a consultant project for my insurance job. This particular project takes me out of the office for a few days and on the surface doesn't sound too bad. I interview some people, write up a report, engage in group discussion to score and analyze the office we are hired by, and finally present the information to them. Some people could breeze through this. You are probably one of them. I find it more accurate to describe the whole ordeal as a torture chamber. Why? Because it's three long days, earlier than normal mornings, close quarters laced with group discussion, and the head ache. It never fails. By about 2:30 on day one I have a head ache so bad that I literally have to hold my left eyelid closed during my afternoon interviews. The poor people I interview in the afternoon have no idea that they run the risk of having my brain explode all over them. At least, I think they have no clue. It could be that when I leave they all stand around the water cooler talking about that one girl who's eye was obviously going to give way and then collectively decide to show up at the presentation wearing ponchos.

I believe these are signs that I am truly an introvert (yes that link is from 2003 but was way more interesting than the wikipedia page) and this particular assignment just doesn't suit my personality. Which explains 1. the headache and 2. never feeling like I excel at this. My need to feed the perfectionist Virgo that lurks inside me has a problem with not feeling like I am really good at this consultancy stuff. I have to keep reminding myself to show up. And more importantly to show up with all I've got, instead of slacking off as frustration settles in. Sometimes just showing up is half the battle anyway. (I made this exhibit A in the evidence room by getting lost and arriving late to the first interview on day one!) Does this ring true for anyone else? Do you have a task that you have to force yourself to "show up" to?

The nice part: When we left the final presentation on day three I saw another sign and knew right then that showing up and trying was indeed enough:

pick me up- a sweet salty morning

I was lacking motivation this morning. WAY LACKING! I was blaming it on two things. 1. the lack of sleep last night and 2. that trickster of a dog Briggs totally had his paw on the scale when I weighed myself this morning. What the heck? I've been going to damn gym and everything. (invokes mantra...its just a number...its just a number).

Sitting at my desk at about 9:30 I was feeling down and out. I was down even for a Monday. I turned to the folder in my google reader appropriately named "good reads". This post from SweetSalty made me LOL- which was very much appreciated on a blah morning such as this.

Post highlights included this line"How do vegetarian strippers get through life without going batshit crazy?" and a commenter who used the term "Birkenstockist".

It gets better though. How? Well, because SweetSalty made my morning and then sweet & salty made my afternoon.


I picked up a little packet of these caramels yesterday and holy crap these are good. Wow! I have not been so impressed with a piece of caramel ever in my whole life. Not that I am some kind of caramel expert, but these are delicious, sweet, soft, with a touch of salt, basically wonderful and made in Montana. Montana? Yes. You can live off the grid, ride a horse, and apparently eat amazing caramel.

masked robber

I am in the small town of Woodstock, VT this week attending and staffing an insurance class. Read: my life is as thrilling as watching paint dry. Come to think of it, there have been painted walls that are significantly more interesting than some of these classes...I digress.

After returning from dinner with some colleagues my cohort and I decided to walk around the corner from the hotel to the ATM so that we would be flush with cash in order to do things like tip bell boys and buy secret martinis at lunch...ok not really. It's just good to have cash in these circumstances.

The ATM door was not the "buzz in" kind. The door to the historic building was just unlocked. Fine. Weird for 2008 but fine. Ann was standing at the machine agreeing to pay $1.75 to access her own money and I was waiting patiently to do the same, when I noticed we had a visitor outside the glass door. I was quite quick on the uptake and since I am good in any emergency I started mumbling "oh no- not good- oh no- not good" (just like they taught me in the Girl Scouts).

Ann, who had been focused on the ATM, thought we were in grave danger and were about to be robbed by the only criminal in Woodstock, VT. She turned around to see our criminal. He was about 12 inches high and black and white and covered in hair. Right, it was baby skunk. Oddly, she disagreed with my assessment of impending doom and rolled her eyes as she stuffed her heart back into her chest. I wasn't so sure and argued that we were certainly in serious danger. Having a skunk at the ATM door is more dangerous than centipedes for me. Not quite as bad as having a spider in my bed but still terrible and unwanted.

The stupidest part is that I love wildlife, just not the ones that have more than 4 legs or ones that leave behind the worst smell on the planet. Fortunately, I escaped unharmed (and unstinky) and was given a laugh after eating dinner with a table full of Republicans.

10 notes on customer phone ettiquette

Follow these simple customer etiquette rules for a happier life. (well, happier for me anyway)

1. Never be rude to a customer service rep. It's not fair, it's unnecessary and it makes you look bad- and they will probably talk about you later using an unflattering nickname.

2. The Customer Service Rep rarely cares about your vacation, your cold, or your mountain of unread mail. We all have vacations, colds, and unread mail. You are probably special in some way, but if these are your selling points you will have few buyers.

3. Companies rarely send out threatening letters without having them reviewed first by a team of paranoid lawyers. When you receive "legal notice" it is in fact legal (ok 98% of the time) and usually concerns something that is easily fixed (ok, 98% of the time). You can usually avoid "legal notice" by reading your mail in a timely manor (see #2).

4. Telling the Customer Service Rep that your issue is "very important and must be fixed immediately" does not actually grant them a magic wand and a spell book. The problem, what ever it's origin actually has to be fixed, you know, by humans.

5. Do not ask the Customer Service Rep "Is this a guessing game?" when she gives you the name of her employer. The question makes no sense and should be avoided at all costs.

6. Kindly allow the Customer Service Rep the time to input your information and call up your account in the computer. t-1 lines are fast, but they are not instantaneous lighting rods of the internet. This is especially true since they are bogged down with a bunch of stupid security crap to screen out stupid face viruses and other such interweb nonsense. It's best to accept the fact that the internet in an office is slower than the internet at home.

7. Allow the Customer Service Rep to talk. Talking over her will not make you right, it will just take longer.

8. Voice all serious complaints in a letter. No seriously, do it. Voice your concern on paper and send it to a manager's attention. Feel free to ask the Customer Service Rep for a name and address. The written word is stronger than a nagging time waster phone call. Management hates to see negativity and criticism in print. You may actually get results. Venting to the Customer Service Rep will get you nothing. She has no power and usually she thinks you're wrong.

9. Call once. If you don't like the answer you receive don't call back expecting to get a different answer. Is your cubicle soundproof?

10. Be polite. Be genuine. Be human. You may have had to talk to a computer first but don't be confused, Customer Service Reps are actually people. Just remember that.

don't take it personal

i have this co-worker who has been known to give suspect advice in the past. she has been known to ask ridiculous questions all day long about subjects varying from her job to how long it takes to drive to random places in upstate new york. occasionally she gets all worked up about something and gives everyone the silent treatment (no! please! not that). but really most of the time she talks a lot. she talks to herself, she talks to me, she talks to anyone she can get a hook into. what is fascinating is that she doesn't believe she does this. she believes she is bad at small talk and is actually very quiet and almost wall flower-esque.

so the other day she starts shrieking from her cubicle to no one in particular....
"thats just rude"
"this is getting offensive"
"who would send this to me?"

this of course prompted me to peek over the wall (against my better judgment) and inquire what all the fuss was about. i was expecting a story about a ridiculous insured, or and agent with their head screwed on backward or a nasty-gram from an underwriter. she calls me over and says, "read this". i walk around the wall to see this horribly offensive.....

SPAM FILTER

yes folks, she was reading her spam filter looking for wrongly flagged messages and was really, truly and authentically offended by such subject lines as:
"you have a stupid face"
"think i am hot"
"wanna make it bigger for her"

i then had to explain that the messages were in fact spam and no they did not have pictures of her and no they did know who she was and that i had also just deleted about 30 of the same messages from my spam filter.

normally one would expect someone to be embarrassed about this kind of mistakes, but i think she actually became a rather hurt that she wasn't quite as important as she thought she was.

i guess now i know why spammers continue to send messages like this out. i couldn't for the life of me imagine who -especially in an office setting- would be clicking and following links from such emails but now i guess i know who.

maybe next week we will start to get the silent treatment again.

***in an update to this post (which i had written just not published yet) today the very same thing happened with another coworker of mine. someone else was really offended by the "stupid face" messages. wild.

motivational speaker, mel robbins visits the young agents

note: this is long and it's friggin HOT out. so grab some lemonade before you start to read.

i planned to write this over the weekend...but when i sat down at the computer on saturday morning, i uploaded and resized pictures and wrote a post about painters instead. that’s how my mind works sometimes. sit down to do one thing and end up doing something else entirely. actually, i clean the house like this too. sometimes i can't believe i graduated from college with the disjointed approach to life i take sometimes.

anyway- last week i went to this networking event put on by my place of business. i try to go to such events but i have missed the last few. this time i wanted to go because we were having Mel Robbins as a guest speaker. usually we have an insurance company executive say a few words about becoming a business partner, blah blah blah, boring insurance jibber-jabber but a co-worker of mine convinced Mel to come out and talk to the young agent group.

you probably don't know who Mel Robbins is...i didn't until about a month ago. you can catch up on her website but essentially she is a life coach and radio personality from MA who is very much a regular real person. she swore and she held a beer while she talked to our group in these way too cute denim sailor pants and she made an immediate impression. this is unlike other "motivational speakers" i have heard in the past. (specifically that comedian guy in FL) she very casually told us her story- about how she got to where she was. i love hearing stories like that. i am engrossed immediately. thats probably why i love reading blogs. i like the details.

right, so the point of this...she had some very unconventional thoughts on some conventional wisdom. one of her major points was about how people don't take chances because they think too much and aim too high. yes, she said that people aim too high. when's the last time you heard that and found it inspirational? to paraphrase, she described the way people think they need to change the world with one big idea but seem only to succeed in talking themselves out of doing anything at all. doing just one small thing at a time would be infinitely more effective for most of us.

of course this theme piggy-backs on so much of what i have read lately about change being more effective when you make small advancements and baby steps and one reasonable goal at a time. lately i've begun to think that most people would benefit from a 12 step program because that is what they are all about- one step at a time....

right, so she went on to talk about how many times she has followed up on one email or made one chance call or had one conversation and before she knew it her circle included radio producers, journalists, and best of all... opportunities. i liked what she said on this point. she advocated less for leaping into something, and instead she advocated that people lean into a new experience. she also talked about the importance of saying “ok- why not?” and figuring out the rest out later.

how many times have i talked myself out of doing something because i couldn't brave the potential for a consequence...any consequence? how many times have i thought, "this one call won't make a difference" or how many times have i insisted that my ideas weren't good enough without ever even sharing them with anyone? probably more times that i can count. probably time to start making those small changes, eh?

totally worth it

so yesterday i let you all in on a secret about how sometimes i eat things that are not only bad for you but are gross, too. so today i will lift everyone's spirits a bit by sharing something that is totally worth eating.....

these minneolas.... i assume these are pretty much the last of the citrus fruit for the year but they were delicious, sweet and juicy. it was like eating candy... candy that is actually real food with real vitamins and nutrients.

i gave one to my co-worker who was lamenting over the fact that there was so little fruit to chose from right now in the store. i believe i made her day with this little orange gem. she said it was the best little orange she had all year. so i think she can happily move into spring now.

mustache club

check out this link . even stuffy lawyers on the wsj law blog think mustaches are funny.

SPOON

one of the cool things about my office is the fact that we have a full kitchen downstairs. we have a full sized, fridge, oven, dishwasher, microwave and a plethora of utensils and cookware. this is so great for making lunches, breakfast and even storing groceries purchased during lunch hour. every morning i go down and cook my oatmeal. while i wait for my breakfast i refill the plastic ware drawer- forks, knives and SPOONS!

the disappointing thing is that when i yell SPOON, no one gets it.

little know fact about the insurance industry

"insurance fridays" - on a friday, especially in the months spanning may-september, at least 50% of insurance professionals will decide at some point in the day to leave work and not return until monday. whether their calling be golf outings, beach-combing or just simply getting on 495 2 hours before everyone else, it is a wonderful thing. this phenomenon makes my office quiet after noon and my phone quiet after 1pm and sometimes i even get to participate. even i get to throw my hat in early and drive out of my nearly empty office parking lot once in a while.

now that it is spring time, i am looking forward to the increased vigor and participation in insurance fridays at work.

december storm

you may be noticing all the fluffy white stuff out there. big storm today. which meant that the drive home was super slow and super long. the news had been reporting snow since Monday, and somehow they can predict snow with great accuracy, but we always have to wait until there is already 3 inches of snow on the ground before the big boss closes the office. as always every other big boss in the technology park does the same thing which sends the 2,000 people that work there heading toward the TWO exit streets at the same time. remind me not to go to work should a real emergency be looming because it took about 30 mins to travel the 1 1/2 miles down the street to the exit. it took another hour or so for me to get home after that. so had there been an outbreak of bird flu or an alien invasion i never would have made it. oh well. it was fine. i know it happens every time.

i know i mentioned angry dad the other day but i haven't seen him recently waiting at the end of my street. so i will have to wait until he appears again to block my view.

now i am off to suit up so that i can shovel again. wish i had a plow.

sometimes tuesdays are mondays

this morning I couldn't get out of my own way. I was a legitimate mess. I probably tried on 4 different outfits. I was trying to pack to go away for the week- I was fighting some real serious sleepiness- and nothing was ironed....I was very late...and then I had this on my way to work:
OK- you can't it very well- but it is a garbage truck that is leaking water. every time we went uphill the water would leak out all over. it was gross and slow. I almost went the long way around the city, but then I would have missed my chance to get a coffee, which was not an option. I stuck it out, kept my distance and got my latte. I know today is tuesday, but it felt like monday.

I left work early as I am spending the rest of the week out of the office attending a class. traffic was surprisingly bad through springfield, and I forgot just how far away exit 2 is. so far. my eyes were tired, and the temperature was 10 cooler out at exit 2. exit 2 is almost in NY, which never seems too far when we are driving to visit jj in troy, but today I was so ready to be out of my car. I was psyched to pull up to the mansion.

I arrived and met someone from my office at registration. we were surprised and pleased to find that we were staying at a historic and fancy resort. we had been booked suits and much to my liking this place is quiet with only a couple rooms on each floor. i really need some daylight to take some pictures of the room. these lamps do nothing for it. I'll get some tomorrow morning before my class starts. there appears to be a good walking trail as well- so I'll also get some shots of the grounds.

companions

when driving somewhere it is important to choose your companion wisely. I think we all know this, but I' can't drive this point home enough. this week my driving companion's name was bob (not to be confused with my brother bob who is obviously awesome).

bob, to his credit was very funny and a very good speaker. I asked him to come out to MA from IL to do some seminars for me, and he was happy to oblige. as a presenter he was well received and generally impressed the right people. in addition, he was also fond of ice cream and mercedes.

he came out on Monday and got lost driving from the airport to his hotel. (severely lost) and well its just not that tough. Tuesday I picked him up and I drove us out to our appointment. much to my liking he went on and on about how much he loved the forester and how great it is. on wednesday he drove the rental car to the cape cod bridge which is an hour away on a major highway....during rush hour traffic....at 50 mph. I figured we would be run off the road by an angry commuter and this was exasperated by his rental car's NY license plates. we met up with a broker of mine- who drove in good MA form- freakin' fast down rt 6 and back up again all the while talking about catholics and politics, like a good Irish boy should.

that brings us to this morning where I met bob and we headed in to boston, which was interesting at best. he doesn't do toll booths so well. gets confused about the fast lane. is kind of spastic and switches lanes frequently, but slowly. remember bob rarely goes over 60...ever. after getting off the highway we got into downtown and hit some traffic (not much) but he was convinced it was basically the end of the world. we parked and he was convinced that the garage was much too low and that the car was going to hit the ceiling. this, despite the fact that we had already cleared the sign at the beginning and there were many larger vehicles parked on either side. his remedy for this was to duck his own head down while driving, as if that would somehow make the car shorter. I can tell you definitively that it doesn't.

our appointment ran over time as the crowd had many questions to ask him. this was good except I was taking taking the train back to the office and had a schedule to keep. bob didn't care. his flight wasn't until after 5pm. we walked out of the building and I said a rushed and hurried goodbye to bob, and then ran to catch my train relived that he would be my driving companion no more.

bob, you're a good guy, a great speaker, but a terrible driver......

time

time has been getting away from me lately. there seems to be so little of it to go around. the last couple weeks of summer have flown by and there has been no extended vacation here.

last week flew by extra fast. it must have been all the stuff we jammed into it. buying the new car, bringing home the little guy, a wedding and an anniversary party. I am tired from the weekend of family affairs, but don't get me wrong I had a wonderful time.

the thing is, it hasn't ended there. I have a business associate in town this week and we have been traveling to visit clients and the like. the up side of entertaining business guests is eating out at places you wouldn't normally go to (hello mushroom risotto)- the downside is insurance as the main topic of dinner conversation (hello drag).

tomorrow we head to the cape for a meeting, which should be interesting. on the way we will pick up one of my brokers and I will get to ride in the car for an hour with two insurance geeks. seriously. help me if I become one of these guys one day.

unfortunately I doubt that I will be taking many snapshots as that doesn't seem very business like. who knows, maybe I'll sneak a few in and feel liberated at the prospect of secretly blogging about insurance geeks who are old enough to be my grandfather!