I spent the first few days of October working on a consultant project for my insurance job. This particular project takes me out of the office for a few days and on the surface doesn't sound too bad. I interview some people, write up a report, engage in group discussion to score and analyze the office we are hired by, and finally present the information to them. Some people could breeze through this. You are probably one of them. I find it more accurate to describe the whole ordeal as a torture chamber. Why? Because it's three long days, earlier than normal mornings, close quarters laced with group discussion, and the head ache. It never fails. By about 2:30 on day one I have a head ache so bad that I literally have to hold my left eyelid closed during my afternoon interviews. The poor people I interview in the afternoon have no idea that they run the risk of having my brain explode all over them. At least, I think they have no clue. It could be that when I leave they all stand around the water cooler talking about that one girl who's eye was obviously going to give way and then collectively decide to show up at the presentation wearing ponchos.
I believe these are signs that I am truly an introvert (yes that link is from 2003 but was way more interesting than the wikipedia page) and this particular assignment just doesn't suit my personality. Which explains 1. the headache and 2. never feeling like I excel at this. My need to feed the perfectionist Virgo that lurks inside me has a problem with not feeling like I am really good at this consultancy stuff. I have to keep reminding myself to show up. And more importantly to show up with all I've got, instead of slacking off as frustration settles in. Sometimes just showing up is half the battle anyway. (I made this exhibit A in the evidence room by getting lost and arriving late to the first interview on day one!) Does this ring true for anyone else? Do you have a task that you have to force yourself to "show up" to?